Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) came into our daily language in the 1980’s after Vietnam. Since that time, we have found that trauma is widespread. Survivors have been exposed to pain and suffering from physical, sexual, emotional, childhood, environmental, and combat trauma. Many trauma survivors have experienced the worst that human beings can do to each other. Yet trauma survivors have the capacity to heal, and they do. They become examples of human resilience and the power of the brain to heal.
In reality most of us will experience traumatic events in our lives. Some of these will cause lasting emotional and psychological distress where others may reduce our mood and add to our distress only for a short time. Current treatment approaches for trauma are still incomplete and only recently is there research suggesting that our lives can be better after trauma than before.
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This can be true when referring to trauma. We often wish we could change the past, including traumatic events that have happened, but that’s not possible. What is possible is we can heal in the present. In practice, we see this happen regularly.
People come to therapy with varying degrees of trauma. Some come with horrific childhood trauma that was ongoing, sometimes into adulthood. Some come in for specific traumatic events, such as car accidents or events experienced in combat. Others seek relief from previous neglect, poverty, or bullying. Regardless of the nature of the trauma, it is real and can cause significant emotional distress.
Trauma often creates the experience of grief due to the loss of a part of ourselves perhaps our innocence. There may be denial where one seeks to block or forget about the event. Anger is often appropriate and an important part of healing. At some point in the work, there may be bargaining where we think about how how we could have prevented the trauma from happening, considering how different scenarios might have altered outcomes. Sadness and depression can occur. These phases set the foundation for acceptance of our present moment situation.
Acceptance becomes the inspiration for continued healing. As traumatic events are observed and accepted, people often speak with curiosity and surprise about how much better they feel. They may express joy at the relief experienced by talking about and looking more closely at traumatic events, considering all the surrounding emotions and their lives both before and after their trauma. They notice their resilience, their ability to feel more confident about themselves and their lives going forward, and perhaps most importantly, their ability to appreciate their lives today. They find that small stressors in daily life don’t have the large impact that they did previously. They find richer and more meaningful engagement in their lives and relationships.
In the lifespan of human growth and development, we know that 80% of a newborn child’s brain develops between birth and age three. The primary input that provides productive brain development is love and nurture from the baby’s caregiver(s). When we as adults seek to reconcile past or current traumas, our brains must heal and develop also. How do we support the healing of our brains? We heal our brains by learning and practicing self-compassion, self-love. If you want to heal your trauma and reduce its limiting impact on your life, we hope you’ll reach out to us. We can help you with that.